Names and Knowing

I will not change my name again, I say, except I probably will.

    My name was given to me in a time of enmeshment and codependency and extreme mistreatment, by the source of all of these things. I do not like my name. It makes me feel alienated and outside of things and just odd overall. I have only ever connected to one name, a name I gave myself, which is Ethan. I only stopped going by Ethan because to put it bluntly I got extremely depressed and lost in myself and ended up detransitioning for about a six month period, because for some reason I thought that’d be the only way to “get better”. Obviously it made it worse! Obviously that would make it worse. I then began transitioning again but went by my birth name for the longest time, which I hated. Before Ethan, by the way, I’d been through about 20 different names. I can never seem to settle, I hate them all! I really hate them all. Except for Ethan.

WHERE THE HEART IS

 poem i wrote about my boyfriend before he was my boyfriend. yes

SINKING INTO THE MATTRESS WHILE MY FUTURE BANGS ON THE DOOR

     I have been super into long titles lately. Here is a piece I wrote for last week’s workshop. College is on the mind, the future is on the mind, I am scared but life goes on whether I am sure of it or not. Anyway, read!

Hollow Chest

     I actually didn’t end up reading the Animal Crossing poem for the spring show, I read this instead. Take a look if you’d like.

Ekphrastic Poetry

This is the poem I submitted for the Toledo Museum of Art Poetry Contest, which is a contest where you have to write a poem based on one of the selected pieces. If you win you get a year long membership and a cash prize, as well as your poem displayed next to the piece i think. Included is the tapestry I wrote my poem off of. :)