Welcome to my liveblog where I post updates when I remember!!!
2/20/26
Hello, blog. Things have taken a sort of unfortunate turn this evening. For one, I got the news that I’ve been rejected from National Honor Society, and for two, I didn’t get a scholarship for WYSE, so the two main things I’ve put so much time and energy and anticipation into for the past month are not, in fact, coming to fruition. I cried in the shower for a little while then stress cleaned, or more like grief cleaned. Disappointment cleaned. A cleaner space helps me process things better, stay out of a hole, and the process of cleaning keeps my mind off things. It’ll all be fine, I’m just very sad.
Worried about the ACT but all I’ve got to do is practice. My date is the 26th, so next Thursday. I gotta brush up on my math skills, they’re rather dusty. Took some practice quizzes and tests and my average is like, the normal average, but I’d prefer a 28. Minimum 24. For the math portion, I mean. I’m set on the english, reading, and writing. Science will be…racey, but I believe it’s optional. We’ll see.
My day was actually pretty good up until the news. Had a lot of fun in museum studies today wandering the halls with Nick and Leni, finding random places to put nails in the walls all over the school. The main stairwell is less bland now, which is nice. We also did an “experiment” (if you can call it that) in earth & environmental surrounding sinkholes. I’ll save most of it, but Leni buried her house in sugar and sand. It didn’t sink, she just buried it. We had a ball I’d say. In between the rejection and the decline of the scholarship I hung out with Izzy, Nadia, and Luna, and we got froyo. Izzy was nice enough to pay for me, even though I offered to Venmo her. I appreciated it. Luna got picked up then Izzy, Nadia, and I hung out at Izzy’s for a while then went thrifting. I found the most perfect blue shirt that had such a nice shape except for the fact that the armpits were too tight. It was unfortunate, I had to put it back but I got other stuff. I splurged and spent 20 dollars…I wish I didn’t, and I wish Izzy would let me pay her back…
That’s really all. I’ve had better days, but it’ll all work out hopefully. I work tomorrow. Bleh. Goodnight, Blog.
2/15/26
Hello, blog. Apologies for the near-month long hiatus. A lot has happened. My ex and I are no longer in contact. I still don’t know what I’m supposed to feel. I miss him very much, or rather I miss the best version of him very much. You’re bound to miss anyone when you spend that much time with them for so long. I know this for the better, this is the way it has to be for things to be okay. If he was still around I would never be okay. At least I don’t think so. I don’t think he’d be either. We did what we had to do for each other, what we were meant to do. It’s all over now, and that’s okay. It has to be. I hope he gets better. I hope I do, too. I hope he’s reading this, even though I’m not supposed to hope for that. It’s difficult.
The spring poetry show was fantastic. I think I wrote and presented some of my best pieces to date, I think the audience thought so as well. I’ve been making new friends: Leni, Nick, and River. Leni and I have been cultivating a friendship over the course of this school year, we’ve gotten very close. I love her, she is a good friend. Nick and I have had a kind of awkward relationship for a long time, but since the air’s cleared we’ve become rather close as well. Him and River are a package deal, therefore the closer I get to Nick the closer I get to River. River’s a very smart person, I am lucky to have her in my life.
Of course Nadia, Florence, Izzy, and Luna are doing very well, too. We’ve become a lot closer since my ex and I split off completely. I think they can see my light shine through again, I think they’re very happy to have their friend back. I am very happy to be back. I need to ask them to hang out soon, I miss them very much. Nadia, Izzy, Luna and I all ran for president for our mock election in government. Luna and I ran against each other and that was so much fun, I was very proud of her for the campaign she conducted. Same with Nadia and Izzy, they did really great as well. We all won except for Luna, whom I won against. She was running as a republican so I applaud her for taking on an especially difficult role so well.
The job is going well. I got my first paycheck ($111!) and spent it on Chipotle. Not all of it….obviously….but $17 of it. The rest is going towards driver’s ed. Maybe a splurge at the mall because I know Leni wants to go. I’m almost out of training luckily. I think I’ve gotten everything down, though I haven’t been trained on register yet. I’m thinking that’s what’ll happen during my next shift.
I got invited to WYSE (Washington Youth Summit on the Environment) in Washington DC. I just secured my spot yesterday and also applied for a scholarship, I’m really hoping I’m able to go. If I get this experience I’d be able to begin my path towards a specialization in natural history museums, which would be fantastic. That combines my two career interests—environmental science and art history! “Art history” more in the way of curation and museology, but you know. Anyway, I feel like it’s gonna work out. I really hope so.
Overall, things are quiet. Thinking about college and stuff, I have an open house at BGSU on Monday that I’m attending with my cousin. It would be sooo fucking awesome if I got to go to college with my cousin.
I’m spending too much time on social media and I need to pick up my hobbies again, so here I am. Picking up my hobbies. I know I said I’d resume the Daily Doodle a month ago and never did, but maybe this time I mean it. We’ll see. Thanks for being here. Goodnight.
1/17/26
Hey blog. Life’s been a fucking mess. My ex and I broke up on Sunday, ending our three year long tumultuous relationship for good. So far the emotional and social ramifications have been coming in waves. Some days are definitely worse than others. Today was mostly fine, kind of got my shit together after being in a strange and sullen limbo for the past six days. Wednesday was the worst, cried a lot, which sucked because the crying happened during school and that’s just embarrassing. Life goes on, that’s all I can really say right now. I could and will spend an insane amount of time unpacking the past three years of my life, it has taught me a lot about myself and how I deal with relationships and stuff like that. To say I enjoyed most of it would be a lie, but to say I won’t cherish any of it would be a lie as well. Hell, I cleaned blood off the guy’s hands. He stroked my hair on the bedroom floor of my best friend’s childhood home. He was my first time, and he also probably still reads this so, you know, I should probably stop listing our intimate moments together on the internet. To clarify, this is no love letter, just a recounting.
The world’s falling apart and I feel compliant. I’m unable to attend protests, I spread information on the internet but that can only do so much. I’m doing what I can. Again, I have my own job now so I’ll be able to control where I buy from and where I send my money to. Getting off of Spotify soon, when I’m able to switch to Apple Music. I’ll no longer be buying my toiletries from Target, rather opting for Walgreen’s, which is more convenient anyway. I’m spreading info. I’m doing what I can. The world is falling apart, and I am doing what I can.
On a lighter note….the new ACNH update came out (a day early at that) and I am REALLY enjoying it. I think it’s the thing that the game needed to feel complete. Now, we could’ve used stronger dialogue and just more life improvements throughout but I am happy with what we got. I do miss when the game was a life-sim rather than a decorating-sim, and that tends to be the general consensus among most players. Maybe Nintendo is listening and will take these sentiments into account while developing the next Animal Crossing.
I’ve been watching Midnight Mass. I just finished ep4 and I am SO into it. The atmosphere, the acting, the way the premise is executed, it’s all done so well. I’m obsessed.
Sorry I haven’t been doing my Daily Doodle. Did I mention the limbo? That is why. I promise I’ll get back on it. Maybe tomorrow, maybe Monday, but I will soon. I’m considering starting a new series of blogposts just discussing like, what media I’ve been into lately, because I talk little snippets of it here but I kind of want it to be its own thing. It’d encourage me to actually enact a lot of my New Year’s resolutions, which I have been horribly behind on since the breakup. It’s okay, we’ll get back on it.
Ugh, goodnight, blog.
1/6/26
HELLO BLOG!!!!!GUESS WHO GOT A FREAKING JOB!!!!!I now work at Panera Bread and can get one free meal per shift. I also get paid $12.50 an hour, which is pretty nice for a first official job. The interview seemed compulsory, because I was only there for about 5 minutes before the manager just offered me the position. Pretty cool, my cousin worked there for a lot of their high school career. I told him I can work weekends + maybe Mondays and Tuesdays, though I hope he doesn’t schedule me those days because I’m actually not so sure about them. I also need to let him know I can only come in past 5:00pm on Fridays. Whatever, I’ll talk to him about it at orientation, it’s no big deal. I’m so happy.
Been working on a lot of good habits since I started enacting my New Year’s resolutions. Obviously I’ve started doing my daily doodle thing, as you can see from the new page on my blog. I’ve also begun establishing my nightly routine, I’ve been doing that for three or so days now and it’s going well. I’ve been reading the book I got from the bookstore the other day, I’m already about 32% in. I’m reading 13 “chapters” (they’re essays) a day so I can get it done in three weeks. There’s 273 essays of fluctuating length, some just a paragraph long and others up to 7 pages. I really love the book so far, it’s an easy read for me.
I’ve been playing Undertale, which, of course, is fantastic. It’s so awesome finally playing the game that I’ve been a gigantic fan of for the past 8-9 years of my life. I’ve also been playing this game called Bit.Trip Runner, which I originally played on Wii but I now have it on my Switch. I recently beat a level I’ve been trying to beat for 2 years, very proud of myself. There’s also this game called Taiko Pop Tap that I am addicted to, it’s just a rhythm game but I play it constantly. The Animal Crossing update comes out in less than two weeks!!!!!1!1!Get hype!!!1!!1!Also Tomodachi Life: Living The Dream soon!!!1!!Get Hype!!1!1!!!
Anyway, goodnight blog. See you um sometime.
1/1/26
Hello BatToothers, welcome to the new year! What better way to start 2026 than a new page on my blog? I’ve decided that I wanted to start liveblogging outside of the discord that my boyfriend, friend and I all share with each other because it’s a lot of fun and I enjoy talking into the void. One may think that this is very similar to my check-ins, but really it’s going to be much more informal and therefore much more frequent. Check-ins to me are like mini essays, and my liveblog will be more like a diary entry but for the internet to see I guess.
How did I spend my New Year’s you may be asking………well, I spent it at my boyfriend’s with our buddy from Detroit and we had so much FREAKING fun. On the eve we danced around and listened to music and got crunk. We were listening to Dance Yrself Clean by LCD Soundsystem and the beat dropped right as it hit 12:00am. It was so cool. Very intentional. I got my blood drawn by my buddy, was scary but fun. My boyfriend is keeping the vial hehe. We smoked behind a strip outlet by some trash cans. It was so cold. I think I got even more ill. I’m very cranky. On New Year’s Day We got up around 10:30am or so, hung around for a little while and had some coffee that made me horribly nauseous. Maybe I’m pregnant with New Year’s baby. Morning sickness. Or I just got too crunk. Or I just have a very fragile little ill body. Whatever, sniffed an alcohol pad and stepped into the sun and I felt fine. Once I was feeling normal again we got ready to go to the Waffle House, which was crazy packed. We sat at the bar and eavesdropped on the kitchen staff. Extremely entertaining. My buddy taught us bar etiquette—you must clean up your spot when you’re finished. You should do that when you’re at any restaurant really, t’was my mistake. It was $10.50. After that we went to the record store, I got two CDs; Whip-Smart by Liz Phair and Rock for Light by Bad Brains. I was so happy I found both of those, they’re two of my favorite albums. My boyfriend paid for the Liz Phair album, how kind was that. I was getting pissy so that brought my mood up……
That’s really all I have for you right now I think. I’m horribly congested. I’d rather be dead. Congestion is the worst possible thing to happen to any man ever. Goodbye world, this is it.
No comments:
Post a Comment